Becoming One

Spring is here! Not only is our earth experiencing rebirth but we are as well – and just as she takes time during the winter to rest and prepare for this surge of energy, so did I.

I have made great changes in my life.  Learning self-love is a process and  can sometimes be difficult for those around us.  It often stirs up  insecurities within themselves which need facing.   Hence the phrase, “change creates change.” This is the idea of universal love, we can create the most when working on and expressing our true self.

With the new emerging from our earth, let the new emerge from within yourself.  Send your inner beauty out for all to see and admire.  You will be helping to create change that will be felt by the world.

After my morning meditation yesterday, I felt drawn to a specific chapter in the book, So Be It, A Conversation With Angels. This book is one of two, that started me on this spiritual journey and from time to time I still find myself  learning from them.

Having already read the book, somehow what I read yesterday seemed new to me and caused me to question something I thought I knew the answer to.  I realize now, the universe has a funny sense of humor and wanted to get my full attention – although I wasn’t appreciating it at the time.

After throwing my hands up and  saying, “That’s it! I’m thoroughly confused as to what you want me to do, I cannot control this, I’m done!” – within minutes I felt this light peaceful feeling come over me. It came from letting go – just not worrying or caring if I was making the right choices anymore. Letting go and trusting the universe to send me what I want in my life.

I did have a brief moment of questioning again at the end of the day – (my mind trying to take back control) but it ended as quickly as it came.  I found myself lowering some walls I constructed in my mind, built to protect me - but realized, were actually keeping me stagnant and preventing what I want.

No, my situation has not miraculously been resolved overnight. But the release from the constant worrying about what direction I’m heading in and who will be there with me has stopped. So far today, I feel the same calmness and I’m enjoying the peace of mind.

I mentioned in a previous post that I felt as if my journey was like driving down a scenic road – I still feel that way, the only difference now is that I learned when you’re tired there is nothing wrong with turning on the cruise control for a while.

Some of the best gifts we receive are the ones we may not want or realize we need.  Take for instance the dreaded sweater that is sometimes given instead of something fun and exciting.

Sometimes people come into our lives as unexpected gifts as well. We may not understand why we are receiving such a gift and often feel angry or resentful.  Perhaps they are given to us to create change in order to help us grow.

Once we feel confident about heading in a new direction and get our feet back under us  again, we start to realize why that person came into our lives and are thankful. Just as I am finding myself thankful for receiving such a wonderfully warm sweater to wear on these cold and dreary days.

Tomorrow I start school at my local college.  This is a big deal for me even though it’s only a single three credit course.

I grew up struggling throughout my childhood in school, never understanding why I couldn’t learn the same way the other kids did.  I thought there was something wrong with me and this belief was only fueled by my parents and teachers who at the time didn’t understand that not everyone learns the same way.

I am an intelligent woman, and over the years I have learned how to adapt to processing new information and have been quite successful at it.  I co-own my own business and throughout this journey have come to learn that we are all special regardless of the labels society tries to put upon us.

This college course is on a subject dear to my heart – creative writing.  I am a bit nervous and excited at the same time.  In a moment of self doubt I asked a dear friend of mine if he thought I would do well in the class (old fears from childhood popped up).  He told me not to worry, “just be creative” – and that is just what I intend to do.

Giving love and being able to accept it is essential to being able to stay in balance. Like most, I am an excellent “giver” it makes me happy to do for others.  Admittedly, I need to work on the “accepting” part.

While meditating a couple days ago, I heard the message loud and clear – I need to nurture myself with love. Part of this involves letting others do for me – learn to accept and receive love more frequently.

Wanting to regain my balance I set the intention to receive, took a deep breath and headed out for the day.  I kept my “giving” to a moderation and the effect was immediate. People were responding to me differently. From random acts of kindness to the furtive looks  while at the gym.

The balance works because when I’m not always acting as the giver, it enables others to do so. Thus creating a balance in their own lives. It doesn’t matter how big or small the act - it could be as simple as accepting a cup of coffee, prepared just the way you like it, from a friend.

Last night while visiting another friend, I spent a night of listening and talking.  A sharing of love, both giving and receiving. As I was getting ready to leave, my friend looked up at me and noticed I was standing straighter.  With a smile on my face, I gave a big hug and said, “Hmm, I noticed that too.”

As soon as I set my intention to follow my chosen path, life became quite interesting – to say the least.  I have had some awesome experiences at times, while others have put me into a tail spin.

On this journey I see an image of myself driving a car down an unknown scenic road.  It is my higher-self behind the wheel and my body is the vehicle. I have no exact idea where I’m heading, I just know I’m supposed to be learning as I go along.

Staying in a peaceful place heading into the unknown can be a bit overwhelming at times. But I do know that if I find I’ve gotten lost due to taking a wrong turn, I simply need to figure out where the mistake was made, correct it and head in the right direction again.

I am getting to know and love some amazing people along the way and what I’m learning about myself is immeasurable. Those of you reading my posts are like passengers who join me for the trip.  Some of you may stay for a brief time, others may want to go all the way. Regardless of how many are with me, I want to thank you for sharing the ride.

It is the quiet moments we are able to truly hear our inner voice speak.  We have so much knowledge within ourselves if we only take a moment to listen.

I am truly blessed to have such wonderful friends in my life. Each relationship is different and touches my life in the most amazing ways.

Today I would just like to say thank you to you all. You are all special and have taught me many things about myself.

I love you all.

Last Friday night while driving home from work, I asked the universe for a peaceful weekend.  This journey I am on although beautiful and interesting, sure has some curves in the road I wasn’t anticipating.

I saw in my mind and said aloud what I wanted to happen and I can absolutely tell you, it manifested. We are so powerful -  it is amazing  what we can do when we “put our mind to it”.  I just need to remind myself of this every now and then when I feel my ego getting in the way,  making me panic about the changes occurring in my life.

My path is taking another new turn, I have no idea of where this one is taking me.  I do know that sometimes it can be difficult to let go of the old -  it is what is familiar to us.  But how can we open the door to new beginnings if we don’t?

I have been struggling with an issue for the past few weeks.  It’s amazing how when you put out into the universe what you want for your life, how quickly things change.

I think the reason why change can be a bit scary is because it deals with the unknown. It causes us to deal with insecurities, tests our strength and faith.

Not only do the changes affect us, but those closest to us as well. We have to trust that all is going to be well in the end. And obviously when in the middle of a situation, that can be difficult.

We also get unexpected gifts during these times, and I was the lucky recipient of one this  morning.  My daughter (who is truly wise) came up to me and gave me such wonderful words of encouragement, they lifted me right back up.

Set firmly upon my feet again, I head out for another wonderful day of experiencing and learning.  I thank the universe for that gift and know that “this too shall pass”.

I also thank the universe for giving me the opportunity to be the mother of such a wise and wonderful daughter.